Obamacare: The Seinfeld Tax

Jerry Seinfeld made a ton of money off "nothing". In fact, the cash continues to flow to Seinfeld to this day, as possibly the funniest TV show in history lives on in reruns. But Seinfeld's goldmine is chump change compared to the eternal pile of cash that Barack Obama is about to start raking in from "nothing". The most transparent, most honest, most intelligent president we've ever had, has boldly gone where no president has gone before; and it looks like he got the idea from George Costanza. For those of you who may not be familiar (all 5 of you), George was Jerry's best friend on the show. NBC approaches Jerry about developing a new show and George has a brilliant idea; "We'll do a show about nothing. Everybody else is doing something, we'll do nothing!". 

Picture this: Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid in a closed door brainstorming session, trying to figure out how to pay for socialized medicine:


Obama: "How's this? We pass a new tax on nothing. Everybody else is taxing something, we'll tax nothing!"


Pelosi: "I don't get it, we have to tax something. How do you tax nothing?"


Obama: "Easy, let's say you're on the couch scratching your butt, that's a tax. You're all alone, sleeping in your bed, that's a tax. You're standing in the wilderness, with no possessions and no contact with civilization, that's a tax."


Reid: "How's that a tax? Why is anyone going to pay it?"


Obama: "Because we're the government, and we'll put 'em in prison if they don't."


Pelosi and Reid: "I think you may have something here."


It's been accepted since before our founding, that government has the authority to tax. The country has bills and we have to pay them. But, taxes have always been based on actions or activities, enabling individuals to opt out or limit the amount they pay. Trade and commerce have been taxed through tariffs and sales taxes, but the individual controls how much he buys or sells, or whether he participates at all. Labor is taxed through the income tax, but no one can force you to work; as is evidenced by the fact that almost half the population pays no income tax at all. Real estate and personal property are taxed, but you must buy or accept ownership of them. Even in the case of the death tax, someone has to commit the act of dying before it can be applied. The Obama/Seinfeld tax is different. For the first time in American history, individuals will be taxed for existing; for "nothing". You stay in your home, you bother no one, you interact with no one, you buy nothing, you sell nothing, you say nothing; "that's a tax!" Obama even further channeled George Costanza in selling this to the American people. George was a self confessed serial liar, saying things like "My entire life is a lie." and "Remember this, it's not a lie, if you believe it." Obama told the country repeatedly that Obamacare was not a tax. Being questioned by George Stephanopoulos, he said "I absolutely reject that notion." It's OK Mr. President; "It's not a lie if you believe it." Everyone forgot to let John Roberts in on the lie. Here's a warning to gays, lesbians, and all the other stuff that keeps getting lumped in with them. I know the president has been kissing your butts but, watch out for the "Homo Tax"; you could be taxed for "nothing" other that your sexual orientation. "Not that there's anything wrong with it."