Happy Thanksgiving Dumbass!

Last week, Texas Governor Rick Perry did a press conference at at the offices of Thigpen Energy in Cut N Shoot, Texas. Thigpen Energy is a perfect example of the vision, philosophy, spirit, and individual character that made the United States the greatest economic power in world history. It's about one guy or, in some cases, a group of guys or ladies, risking everything they have on an idea or a dream. Small business owners like this devote their entire lives to it, they work day and night; weekends and holidays. They answer their phones 24/7. They do it for a variety of reasons. Some are simply adventurous, others seek independence; most of them want a chance to control their own destiny and, you're damn right, they want to make money. I'm not sure when the idea of making a lot of money became crime in America; but it's bullshit and it's time we addressed it head on. After Perry's press conference at Thigpen, an assclown named Emily Deprang, who writes fairy tales for a communist rag called the Texas Observer, did a hit piece on Perry, and she took some shots at Thigpen Energy as well. I'm not a big Rick Perry guy, but I'm a huge fan of Sam Thigpen, Thigpen Energy, and the millions of other small business owners who continue to create jobs and power the economic engine of this country; despite the best efforts of our federal government to destroy them. This Deprang moron and the ignorant jackasses she works for are representative of the culture that our federal government has intentionally created. It was bad enough when they all just sat on their worthless asses, and we had to support them. But, since the election of Barack Obama in '08, and especially since his recent re-election; these do nothing parasites have become increasingly more vocal in complaining about the level to which working Americans take care of their sorry asses. Anyone who supports traditional, conservative values, self reliance, personal responsibility, and hard work is crucified and labeled racist, greedy, uncaring, mean spirited, or homophobic. Successful people and corporations are treated as if they went in and stole the food from a table in an orphanage. The reason these attacks have gotten worse and more frequent, is that those of us on the receiving end haven't fought back; we just keep taking it. We don't want to be called any of those names and we don't want to seem insensitive or un-compassionate. It's time to address it in the only terms these scum bags are capable of understanding. So listen up lefties, bums, welfare queens, community activists, race baiters, and anyone else that's trying to gnaw off the hands that have been feeding them; I'm not doing this just because I'm unafraid of the name calling. I'm doing it because it's fun; I'm gonna really enjoy it! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and you worthless, ungrateful assholes have a lot to be thankful for. Since I know you have no idea who you should thank, start with God! If you don't know who I'm talking about; Google it! FYI, he doesn't live in the White House. Even though I'm sure that the God I worship would like to slap the living shit out of every one of you, he is forgiving. Anyway, it's probably me I was thinking of that wants to slap the shit out of you. When you finish thanking God, start thanking me and the millions of hard working conservatives just like me, that have been taking care of a lot of you stupid bastards for your entire lives. You should be eternally thankful because you did NOTHING to earn it, you're not entitled to it, and you definitely don't deserve it! YOU'RE WELCOME ASSWIPES! Basically, you idiots can be divided in to three groups; 

• Some of you are crackheads. You may not actually smoke crack, your drug might be pot, booze, coke, prescription painkillers, sex, or gambling. The point is, you have no self discipline; you're weak! You can't hold a job or support yourself because you want something else more. But make no mistake, you're not a victim and you're not sick. This is your fault and no one else's. Sick people go to the doctor and get help; you live this way because you choose to and because the government allows you to. 
• A bunch of you are bums. Maybe all of you you don't live under bridges, but the bottom line is; you'd rather sit on your asses than work. You don't deserve free housing, health care, food, phones, or any of the other free shit you get; and we sure as hell don't owe it to you. You get it because politicians have manipulated your dumb asses into voting for them. It's like the way you reward a dog, by giving him a treat for rolling over or fetching a stick. "Punch the button in the voting booth. Good boy! Now come get your bacon strip!"
• This third group actually encompasses the first two as well. YOU'RE STUPID! You can't figure out anything for yourselves. You can be easily manipulated into anything. You have descended to a level of ignorance that would prevent most of you from surviving without your caretakers (conservatives). You've chosen a life of servitude in exchange for minimal rations of food and money. The key word here is "chosen"; You picked this life. YOU'RE STUPID!

Wow! I sure feel better! Not only do you have a lot to be thankful for, I'm extremely thankful that I got a chance to explain it to you. Try to enjoy these approaching holidays because the next four years are gonna suck; bad! Not for us conservatives, we know how to take care of ourselves. The government will take more of our money, but we'll be OK. But, it's gonna get really bad for those of you who voted for a daddy instead of a president. I would feel sorry for you; if you hadn't begged for it. As it is; I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS! Happy Thanksgiving!