We Need A Second Party, Not A Third

The Democrats are the problem! Right? If the Republicans can just take back the senate, and win the White House, next election, we'll turn this thing around! Anybody really believe that? I used to. We need to drop the illusion of a two party system, battling it out over ideology; we haven't had that in years. Conservatives need a new party; not a third party, a second one! Because, right now, we only have one. It has two names, and two faces; but they're on the same side, and it's not the side of the people that elected them. Let's call them Republocrats! As conservatives, we like to ridicule Democrat voters, as imbeciles, blindly following their party, without a clue what's really going on. But which voters are really stupid, them or us? Democrat politicians have a simple message for their voters: "Vote for us, and we'll attack the rich, and give you their stuff. Free housing, food, spending money, health care, college, cell phones; you name it. And it won't cost you a damn thing!" After being elected, Democrats do a pretty damn good job of delivering. Maybe those voters aren't so stupid after all; just kidding, of course they are. But, what about us? Republicans tell us they're gonna cut taxes, cut spending, shrink the government, and curb regulations; they tell us, they're the conservative party. When's the last time they were actually anything close to that, thirty years ago maybe? But we just keep voting for them! They can't stop the Democrats, they WON'T stop the Democrats; because they are the Democrats! As tough as that is for me to admit, and as much as a lot of you hate to hear it, we need to own up to it and do something about it before we wake up in the Soviet Union. We put George W. Bush in the White House for two terms, with a Republican congress for six years. What the hell do we have to show for it?

Did they cut spending? Hell No! They increased it by 38%!

Did they reduce the national debt? Hell No! They added $5 trillion to it!

Did they reform entitlements? Hell No! They passed an unfunded expansion of Medicare, that will cost taxpayers at least $1 trillion over the next decade, and they doubled food stamp spending and added eleven million people to the program!

Did they shrink government? Hell No! They added the DHS and the TSA!

Did they curb government regulations? Hell No! They passed laws, telling us what kind of light bulbs and toilets to put in our homes!

Did they reduce federal intervention in schools? Hell No! They passed "No Child Left Behind"!

Did they reform our ludicrous 75,000 page tax code? Hell No! They gave us minimal tax cuts, and didn't even make them permanent! 

Did they protect individual liberty, and defend the constitution? Hell No! They passed "The Patriot Act", then abused it!

Did they give us a conservative court? Hell No! They gave us Chief Justice John Roberts, who ruled that it was constitutional for the federal government to force us to buy health insurance!

They did all this, while they controlled every damn branch of the federal government! Obama didn't need any new ideas on big government, Bush and the Republicans conducted an 8 year seminar! Please don't tell me "Yeah, but Obama did it more, he's worse." Yes, and AIDS is worse than Herpes, but I'd rather not have either one! In 2010, the Tea Party carried the GOP to win back a majority in the House. What the hell do we have to show for it? The IRS is acting like the KGB, attacking political opposition and freedom of speech. Has the house majority even threatened to cut their funding, or at least cut funding for the 16,000 new agents they're hiring to enforce Obamacare? They control the purse strings right? Yeah, about as well as Lindsay Lohan controls her substance abuse! Have the put up any resistance to raising the debt ceiling? Yeah, about like Rosie O'Donnell, resisting another piece of pie! They don't fight against any of this crap, because they believe in it, they want a big, strong, powerful federal government. They want as many people as possible to be totally dependent on government, because, then, you can control them. Hey morons! Yeah, Democrat voters, you need to pull your heads out of your substantial asses too! That means you have to quit lying on them for a minute. Remember when you were all pissed about Bush, meddling in foreign countries, and starting wars, getting soldiers killed? I thought you were the party of the ACLU and civil rights. I thought Bush was a Nazi and a murderer. What the hell, all you self righteous, hypocritical bastards have a change of heart? Your president doesn't torture terror suspects, he just kills them! You losers are just as pathetic as us, but at least you do get your free stuff. All we get is the bill! But talking to liberals is a waste of time. They can't change, they'd lose their houses, their health care, their phones, and starve to death. The minds we have to change are on the right. We can let Karl Rove and the Republocrats keep fooling us by cross dressing as conservatives, or we can build a new, second party; cause we only have one right now!