Is This Really the Best We Can Do?

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."
Jerry Seinfeld


A while back, in the same day’s news, I saw a story about woman who weighed six hundred pounds and was trying to get to a thousand to set a record and another about Jessica Simpson, who admitted in an interview that she rarely brushes her teeth, usually choosing to use her sleeve instead. My wife often accuses me of believing that I’m the only one who knows anything or that I’m smarter than anyone else. Just take an honest look at the world we live in and explain to me how I would come to any other conclusion. The most popular method of communication in the world now involves typing with your thumbs on a keyboard or screen that’s smaller than a business card on a device that you can actually communicate verbally with. I’m not against advances in technology. Cassettes were better than 8-tracks, CD’s better still, and iPods may be the most awesome thing ever for music lovers. Texting, however, is not progressive technology, it’s regressive. If texting were the only way we had to communicate and I invented a device with which you could actually talk to someone in another country, I’d be a zillionaire. But no, I’m the one who’s behind the times, resisting progress. What’s the next high tech phenomenon going to be? Smoke signals? We have a tendency in recent years to blame a lot of our problems on our ever growing system of government, and with good reason. They are constantly finding new and creative ways to spend our money and take away our freedoms, all the while using the constitution as a doormat. It seems that every time I watch the news, there’s a new piece of legislation or government agency that will take us just a little closer to becoming the Soviet Union. I really want to argue that Americans are too smart to let it happen; but a lot of my fellow citizens are making that a tough sell. As we all know, the big doomsday scare of the last decade has revolved around “man caused global warming”. I think it’s a big load of crap and I’ll tell you why another time, but let’s forget about that for a minute. Whether it’s to save the planet, help the U.S. become energy independent, or to just save money at the pump; I think most of us would agree that conserving energy is probably a good thing, but at what price? I was traveling on interstate 10, between Houston and San Antonio the other day and, for a while, I was running at about 75 mph, right next to a car about the size of a shoe box. The front of the vehicle was almost all windshield, and the driver’s nose was almost touching the glass. I wonder if that guy has pondered whether he is more likely to die by drowning in the rising seas as a result of global warming or being smashed like a bug by an eighteen wheeler. It’s hard to blame the media or the government for treating us like morons, we’re giving them a target that must be impossible to resist. The Texas State legislature has twice attempted and failed to pass a law that would require voters to present a photo ID at the polls. Really?... I have to show a driver’s license to get a library card, buy sinus medicine, or enter the public schools my kids attend, but why would it be necessary to get ID from people as they’re deciding who will write and enforce our laws or protect national security? It’s not as if we’ve had multiple instances of individuals voting more than once or of dead people or Mickey Mouse voting. Yeah, I see no problem there. Hey America! A lot of people gave their lives so we could live in this country. Is this really the best job we can do to honor those sacrifices? I sure as hell hope not. A lot of you people out there aren’t carrying your share of the load when it comes to good decision making and, frankly, you’re screwing things up for the rest of us. We need all of you to count to three, then give a collective tug and pull your heads out of your asses. Most polls show that congressional approval ratings over the last thirty years hovered between seventeen and thirty five percent and are currently at about fourteen. Yet some of these jackasses have been there for thirty or forty years. Hey guys, you know you can vote every two years on whether or not to keep these idiots, right? It’s not supposed to be a lifetime appointment like the pope. Evidently, the wackos on the left worked their selves into a tizzy over Bristol Palin’s performance on “Dancing With the Stars”. It seems they believe that the “Tea Party” was conspiring to keep her on the show even though she wasn’t as good as some other contestants. Here’s the deal; if this is true, then you tea partiers who participated are losers. You lefties are losers either way. Can’t you find a better way to occupy your time? Shouldn’t you be out fighting for the civil rights of ferrets or trying to save East Texas crabgrass from extinction? Yesterday was supposed to have been the busiest air travel day of the year and some activists were encouraging passengers to protest the airport security screening procedures. I was glad to see that almost no one participated. I’m against being felt up by the government too, but I don’t think causing yourself and everyone else to have to spend extra hours in the airport, the day before Thanksgiving is a really smart way to make your point. But I did see video of a guy and a girl who attempted to go through screening in their underwear, brilliant idea. They also interviewed a kid who looked like he was about eight, who said about his choice; “well, I really don’t want to die from radiation or have people touch my private parts”. Okay, I hope this kid’s parents didn’t tell him the scanner would kill him. I mean, wouldn’t that tend to make you beg for the groping. I’d really like to be thankful today for all of the intelligent, well thought out decision making I see going on around me. But I guess my family, friends, and health will have to suffice. 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone