Is This Really the Best We Can Do?

"A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking."
Jerry Seinfeld


A while back, in the same day’s news, I saw a story about woman who weighed six hundred pounds and was trying to get to a thousand to set a record and another about Jessica Simpson, who admitted in an interview that she rarely brushes her teeth, usually choosing to use her sleeve instead. My wife often accuses me of believing that I’m the only one who knows anything or that I’m smarter than anyone else. Just take an honest look at the world we live in and explain to me how I would come to any other conclusion. The most popular method of communication in the world now involves typing with your thumbs on a keyboard or screen that’s smaller than a business card on a device that you can actually communicate verbally with. I’m not against advances in technology. Cassettes were better than 8-tracks, CD’s better still, and iPods may be the most awesome thing ever for music lovers. Texting, however, is not progressive technology, it’s regressive. If texting were the only way we had to communicate and I invented a device with which you could actually talk to someone in another country, I’d be a zillionaire. But no, I’m the one who’s behind the times, resisting progress. What’s the next high tech phenomenon going to be? Smoke signals? We have a tendency in recent years to blame a lot of our problems on our ever growing system of government, and with good reason. They are constantly finding new and creative ways to spend our money and take away our freedoms, all the while using the constitution as a doormat. It seems that every time I watch the news, there’s a new piece of legislation or government agency that will take us just a little closer to becoming the Soviet Union. I really want to argue that Americans are too smart to let it happen; but a lot of my fellow citizens are making that a tough sell. As we all know, the big doomsday scare of the last decade has revolved around “man caused global warming”. I think it’s a big load of crap and I’ll tell you why another time, but let’s forget about that for a minute. Whether it’s to save the planet, help the U.S. become energy independent, or to just save money at the pump; I think most of us would agree that conserving energy is probably a good thing, but at what price? I was traveling on interstate 10, between Houston and San Antonio the other day and, for a while, I was running at about 75 mph, right next to a car about the size of a shoe box. The front of the vehicle was almost all windshield, and the driver’s nose was almost touching the glass. I wonder if that guy has pondered whether he is more likely to die by drowning in the rising seas as a result of global warming or being smashed like a bug by an eighteen wheeler. It’s hard to blame the media or the government for treating us like morons, we’re giving them a target that must be impossible to resist. The Texas State legislature has twice attempted and failed to pass a law that would require voters to present a photo ID at the polls. Really?... I have to show a driver’s license to get a library card, buy sinus medicine, or enter the public schools my kids attend, but why would it be necessary to get ID from people as they’re deciding who will write and enforce our laws or protect national security? It’s not as if we’ve had multiple instances of individuals voting more than once or of dead people or Mickey Mouse voting. Yeah, I see no problem there. Hey America! A lot of people gave their lives so we could live in this country. Is this really the best job we can do to honor those sacrifices? I sure as hell hope not. A lot of you people out there aren’t carrying your share of the load when it comes to good decision making and, frankly, you’re screwing things up for the rest of us. We need all of you to count to three, then give a collective tug and pull your heads out of your asses. Most polls show that congressional approval ratings over the last thirty years hovered between seventeen and thirty five percent and are currently at about fourteen. Yet some of these jackasses have been there for thirty or forty years. Hey guys, you know you can vote every two years on whether or not to keep these idiots, right? It’s not supposed to be a lifetime appointment like the pope. Evidently, the wackos on the left worked their selves into a tizzy over Bristol Palin’s performance on “Dancing With the Stars”. It seems they believe that the “Tea Party” was conspiring to keep her on the show even though she wasn’t as good as some other contestants. Here’s the deal; if this is true, then you tea partiers who participated are losers. You lefties are losers either way. Can’t you find a better way to occupy your time? Shouldn’t you be out fighting for the civil rights of ferrets or trying to save East Texas crabgrass from extinction? Yesterday was supposed to have been the busiest air travel day of the year and some activists were encouraging passengers to protest the airport security screening procedures. I was glad to see that almost no one participated. I’m against being felt up by the government too, but I don’t think causing yourself and everyone else to have to spend extra hours in the airport, the day before Thanksgiving is a really smart way to make your point. But I did see video of a guy and a girl who attempted to go through screening in their underwear, brilliant idea. They also interviewed a kid who looked like he was about eight, who said about his choice; “well, I really don’t want to die from radiation or have people touch my private parts”. Okay, I hope this kid’s parents didn’t tell him the scanner would kill him. I mean, wouldn’t that tend to make you beg for the groping. I’d really like to be thankful today for all of the intelligent, well thought out decision making I see going on around me. But I guess my family, friends, and health will have to suffice. 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

Federal Junk Groping, What Will They Ruin Next?

If Osama Bin Laden has satellite and a flat screen in his cave, I imagine he's laughing his ass off about now. A decade ago, some of his boys hijacked and crashed four planes, killing over three thousand people. In response, we're now fondling the genitals of passengers before they board their flights; I guess we've showed him. We had a shoe bomber, so we now go barefooted in the airport. We had an underwear bomber, so now we're doing pantie-checks. I hope like hell the next guy doesn't jam a bomb up his anus. Earlier this year, President Obama and Democrats everywhere were outraged that Arizona passed a law that would require suspected criminals to present proof of citizenship. But asking Grandpa to present his testicles before flying to Disney World with the family?...No Problem. The Obama administration is truly the gift that keeps on giving. In just two years they have graciously told me how fat I am, how stupid I am, and how much of a racist I am. Now, they've generously offered to inspect my scrotum for explosives. My cup runneth over. They've nationalized health care, banks, student loans, and Chevrolet; now they're going after foreplay. I've had about enough of this crap. Washington, Adams, and Franklin started a revolution over tariffs on tea. I'm guessing they wouldn't have responded well to having their manhood caressed by government bureaucrats. As I near the age of fifty, I find there aren't as many instances of spontaneous "excitement". An occasional strategically directed groping might not be so bad, I just don't want to receive it from someone who's only working there because Walmart wasn't hiring. It appears that Americans are nearing the limits that they'll allow themselves to be pushed to in the interest of safety. It's about time. This is so absurd, it would be funny, if only our pants weren't around our ankles. It doesn't have to be this way, we're allowing these idiots to do this to us and it's not just Obama and the Democrats. When the Bush administration started tapping phones and monitoring emails without a court order, most Republicans said nothing because Bush was "our guy". Leftist Democrats screamed about the the violations of constitutional rights by the evil Bush. Where are all you idiots now? I'll take my share of the blame for helping elect Bush and then failing to hold him accountable, but let's be honest; a lot of you have a much bigger share of blame to shoulder. Those of you that continue to blindly defend Obama's policies should be first in line to drop your trousers and assume the position. Voters in California should have to go through the procedures multiple times everyday, when entering all public and private buildings, but then, most of them would likely enjoy it. If more people had to pay the price for stupidity in the voting booth or, worse yet, not voting at all; maybe we would stop seeing so much of this lunacy. Until then, if Uncle Sam is going to keep doling out this "welfare sex", the least they could do is lift the ban on smoking in airports.

Even In Tough Times, America is a Pretty Sweet Deal

I used to be a lot of fun. For several years in my younger days, the party didn't start until I got there, nor end 'til I passed out. In the past year, a few people, some who were family, have told me that I'm not as much fun; too serious (AKA: "Kind of an ass"). I know it's true; hell, I get on my own nerves. I don't trust anyone and I see a conspiracy behind every door. I record and watch Glenn Beck religiously and, often, he depresses the hell out of me. But, it's like a car wreck and I can't look away; plus, he's right most of the time. I constantly read books on history, economics, and government that are so boring they'd put a meth addict to sleep. Yesterday, before the polls had even closed, I started concentrating on how, despite the big gains, we couldn't relax, had to keep an eye on the Republicans now; and I believe that. But, it hit me on the way home; I need to lighten up. Despite all of the real problems we face, I'm extremely blessed and being an American still beats anything else on earth. We need to take a few minutes and enjoy this victory over socialism and tyranny because, by the Grace of God, we earned it. I've never been prouder of my country and all of you fellow Americans and, as Lee Greenwood sang: "I'd gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today" I don't think we can overstate the significance of this election. As they have throughout history, the American people came to the defense of freedom and the God given right to govern themselves. Last night we were "The Shining City on a Hill" that Ronald Reagan so often spoke of and, when we awoke today, it was morning in America again. We can do this, we just forgot that for a little while. Last week my twenty-one year old son voted for the first time. Last night my twelve year old son laid on the bed and watched the returns with me and he understands and gets it. My eleven year old daughter couldn't care less, but she plays a mean second base. Their generation will finish this fight but, obviously, us old dogs aren't finished yet. I've met so many good people this year who've worked hard to spur this movement and I've been awed by you. Make no mistake this is a "bottom up" movement. I also know that we put some damn good people in office yesterday; people like Marco Rubio, Rand Paul, and Lt. Col. Allen West. We also threw out some dirt bags, particularly Alan Grayson in Florida. Yeah, they'll need help but it was a pretty damn good start. We will win this fight because Americans don't quit. We kicked Adolph Hitler's ass; we're not going to lose this country to the likes of Barack Obama and Harry Reid. So give yourselves a round of applause and thank The Lord God for giving us the strength. Then, if you choose, crack open a cold one or two and join me in a toast. Not too many though, we've gotta get back to work tomorrow. God Bless you all and God Bless The United States of America.

While Americans Battle for Survival, Obamas Live Like Royalty

Over the past two years Americans have increasingly been spending less and saving more. Many of them, my wife and I included, have been doing a lot more bargain shopping, clipping coupons, cutting corners, or just doing without. We book cheaper hotels and flights on internet sites or maybe just stay home and skip vacations; and we're the lucky ones. In the last three years, eight million Americans have lost their jobs and there aren't any new ones. Millions more lost their homes. More people are receiving government assistance than at any time in history, including the great depression. But our president is taking his family on a trip to India that will cost taxpayers $ 200 million per: day. If this doesn't piss you off so bad that you can't see straight, then you're either stoned or so incredibly damned stupid, you shouldn't be left alone without a caretaker. And, to be perfectly blunt, a lot of Americans are that stupid. There is no other explanation for voting for the likes of Jerry Brown, Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid. If California fell off into the ocean, the collective IQ of the country would instantly double. Obama has booked rooms at 5 different hotels including the entire Taj Mahal, it's 570 rooms, banquet halls, and restaurants to accommodate his entourage of 3,000 (Is a harem included?). The people who this arrogant jackass works for will also pay for the transport of 40 aircraft and a 45 vehicle motorcade. This crooked S.O.B. has already taken more vacations and played more golf than any president in history, but this is kicking sand in the faces of the American people as they struggle to claw their way out of a hole that he dug. This is reminiscent of Saddam Hussein living in a royal palace while the Iraqi people lived in third world poverty. I was never crazy about John McCain for president, but if I ever hear anyone else say "he wouldn't have been any different than Obama", I'm might slap the shit out of them. We took a big step last night, but we have a long way to go. Wake your friends and neighbors up and expose this corrupt scumbag. He must be thrown out in 2012 or there won't be anything left of the United States. King Obama's reign must end!