Happy Thanksgiving Dumbass!

Last week, Texas Governor Rick Perry did a press conference at at the offices of Thigpen Energy in Cut N Shoot, Texas. Thigpen Energy is a perfect example of the vision, philosophy, spirit, and individual character that made the United States the greatest economic power in world history. It's about one guy or, in some cases, a group of guys or ladies, risking everything they have on an idea or a dream. Small business owners like this devote their entire lives to it, they work day and night; weekends and holidays. They answer their phones 24/7. They do it for a variety of reasons. Some are simply adventurous, others seek independence; most of them want a chance to control their own destiny and, you're damn right, they want to make money. I'm not sure when the idea of making a lot of money became crime in America; but it's bullshit and it's time we addressed it head on. After Perry's press conference at Thigpen, an assclown named Emily Deprang, who writes fairy tales for a communist rag called the Texas Observer, did a hit piece on Perry, and she took some shots at Thigpen Energy as well. I'm not a big Rick Perry guy, but I'm a huge fan of Sam Thigpen, Thigpen Energy, and the millions of other small business owners who continue to create jobs and power the economic engine of this country; despite the best efforts of our federal government to destroy them. This Deprang moron and the ignorant jackasses she works for are representative of the culture that our federal government has intentionally created. It was bad enough when they all just sat on their worthless asses, and we had to support them. But, since the election of Barack Obama in '08, and especially since his recent re-election; these do nothing parasites have become increasingly more vocal in complaining about the level to which working Americans take care of their sorry asses. Anyone who supports traditional, conservative values, self reliance, personal responsibility, and hard work is crucified and labeled racist, greedy, uncaring, mean spirited, or homophobic. Successful people and corporations are treated as if they went in and stole the food from a table in an orphanage. The reason these attacks have gotten worse and more frequent, is that those of us on the receiving end haven't fought back; we just keep taking it. We don't want to be called any of those names and we don't want to seem insensitive or un-compassionate. It's time to address it in the only terms these scum bags are capable of understanding. So listen up lefties, bums, welfare queens, community activists, race baiters, and anyone else that's trying to gnaw off the hands that have been feeding them; I'm not doing this just because I'm unafraid of the name calling. I'm doing it because it's fun; I'm gonna really enjoy it! Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and you worthless, ungrateful assholes have a lot to be thankful for. Since I know you have no idea who you should thank, start with God! If you don't know who I'm talking about; Google it! FYI, he doesn't live in the White House. Even though I'm sure that the God I worship would like to slap the living shit out of every one of you, he is forgiving. Anyway, it's probably me I was thinking of that wants to slap the shit out of you. When you finish thanking God, start thanking me and the millions of hard working conservatives just like me, that have been taking care of a lot of you stupid bastards for your entire lives. You should be eternally thankful because you did NOTHING to earn it, you're not entitled to it, and you definitely don't deserve it! YOU'RE WELCOME ASSWIPES! Basically, you idiots can be divided in to three groups; 

• Some of you are crackheads. You may not actually smoke crack, your drug might be pot, booze, coke, prescription painkillers, sex, or gambling. The point is, you have no self discipline; you're weak! You can't hold a job or support yourself because you want something else more. But make no mistake, you're not a victim and you're not sick. This is your fault and no one else's. Sick people go to the doctor and get help; you live this way because you choose to and because the government allows you to. 
• A bunch of you are bums. Maybe all of you you don't live under bridges, but the bottom line is; you'd rather sit on your asses than work. You don't deserve free housing, health care, food, phones, or any of the other free shit you get; and we sure as hell don't owe it to you. You get it because politicians have manipulated your dumb asses into voting for them. It's like the way you reward a dog, by giving him a treat for rolling over or fetching a stick. "Punch the button in the voting booth. Good boy! Now come get your bacon strip!"
• This third group actually encompasses the first two as well. YOU'RE STUPID! You can't figure out anything for yourselves. You can be easily manipulated into anything. You have descended to a level of ignorance that would prevent most of you from surviving without your caretakers (conservatives). You've chosen a life of servitude in exchange for minimal rations of food and money. The key word here is "chosen"; You picked this life. YOU'RE STUPID!

Wow! I sure feel better! Not only do you have a lot to be thankful for, I'm extremely thankful that I got a chance to explain it to you. Try to enjoy these approaching holidays because the next four years are gonna suck; bad! Not for us conservatives, we know how to take care of ourselves. The government will take more of our money, but we'll be OK. But, it's gonna get really bad for those of you who voted for a daddy instead of a president. I would feel sorry for you; if you hadn't begged for it. As it is; I DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS! Happy Thanksgiving!

What If There Were Two Americas?

I think a lot of us would agree that, as a country, the United States of America is as divided as it's been since the sixties; maybe more so. I've been reading about all these petitions to secede, and it got me thinking. A while back, I read a book called "Are We Rome?", which compared the current state of the U.S. to the fall of the Roman Empire. The author talked about a scenario, in which the country would split and become two separate Americas. I'm wondering what that would be like. I have to think the divide would be along liberal versus conservative lines; perhaps "The Constitutional Republic of America" and "The Progressive Socialist Democracy of America". How about "The Elephants" and "The Jackasses"? Ok, no need for name calling. To simplify things, let's just call it "Red America" and "Blue America". By the way, this is based on philosophy, not politics. A lot of you big government Republicans are gonna need to go to Blue America, because you're really just jackasses in pachyderm clothing. So how would things divide up? Let's take a look.

• Income-Obviously, this is probably the biggest dividing line currently; and that's by the design of the Democratic Party. Americans are classified as the "haves" and the "have nots"; though it would be more accurate to call them "the works" and "the work nots", or as Thomas Sowell once said "the do's" and the "do nots". We have to assume that the vast majority of top income earners would go to Red America (R.A.), initially, because of the lower taxes and regulation on business and the economy. The few rich people, like maybe Warren Buffett, who stayed in Blue America (B.A.) would find a way to shelter and invest their money in R.A., until the B.A. government took them up on their offers to pay even higher taxes; then they would bail out to R.A. when they crossed, oh, let's say the 95% tax bracket. What about middle class income earners? I would think that, at least, 70% in the private sector, would go to R.A., in the beginning and another 15% within the first two years, because that's where the vast majority of businesses and jobs would be. Most government workers would stay in B.A. because government jobs would pay a hell of a lot more than in R.A., and there would be a lot more of them in B.A. The income earners at the bottom would, most likely, be torn, because many of them would be receiving some type of B.A. govt. assistance, that wouldn't be available in R.A. Eventually, those that truly wanted to work, would go to R.A., for the promise of opportunity, rather than the promise of minimal subsistence. Almost everyone receiving income for not working would stay in B.A. until the government ran out of money; at which point, they would go to R.A. and find jobs, or starve to death.
• Race-While the country is racially divided, I really don't think race would play much of an issue in this decision. While most minorities and a large number of whites would have their hearts in B.A., this decision would be guided by survival instinct. You need jobs and money to survive and provide for your family; and the jobs would be in R.A. Whether you believe it, or like it; green trumps all other colors in economics. Provide value as an employee, or as a business owner, and financial motives will triumph over any racial prejudices that may exist.
• Immigration-There would be no illegal immigration in B.A., and it would, initially, be overrun with new citizens seeking government freebies. Then, like the Americans who stayed for the free stuff, they'd leave when the B.A. government went broke; if they were allowed to leave. Illegal immigration wouldn't be much of a problem in R.A. The economy would be prosperous and there would be more jobs than Red American citizens could do. Smart, hard working people from other countries, looking for an opportunity to make a better life, would be welcomed; and would become valuable members of society. No one would be sneaking into R.A. to take advantage of the free health care and other government benefits, because we wouldn't have those things.
• Social Philosophy-Citizens of R.A. would be expected to accept responsibility for their own lives and for their actions. It would be a country of great opportunity, but, on occasion, people would experience rough times. When that happened, their fellow citizens would give them a helping hand; whether privately, through churches and other non-profits, or collectively, through the government. But, it would be on our terms, and those being helped would be expected to help themselves, if they were able. People in need of help are not in a position to dictate the terms of that help, and receiving help is not an entitlement; it's an act of kindness and generosity on the part of those providing it. In B.A., everyone would be entitled to the best health care and education, to a good paying job and a nice home; all free of charge. There would also be laws mandating free cell phones, WiFi, satellite TV,  Ipads, laptops, new cars, and all the other basic necessities of life. The problem would be that, everyone capable of working and paying taxes to provide these things, would be living and working next door in Red America.

It could happen some day, and it might be a good thing for citizens of both countries. Right now, we're all living the lie in Blue America; and we're approaching the time to pay the bill. We don't have the money; no one does.