Why We Should Re-elect Obama

Talk about a tough sell, how would like to be in charge of that? I just saw a report from Obama's own budget director, who predicted that this year's budget deficit will end up at about 1.2 trillion, which will make this the 4th straight year of trillion dollar plus deficits. Now there's something to rally behind! There is positive news though. They say that by 2017, the deficit should drop to 3% of GDP...because they're going to have 1.5 trillion in tax increases. Holy Crap! Romney's people won't have to write any new material for a while. Obama's guys are dishing it out generously. Saw another article about how 200,000 small businesses have closed since 2008, killing 3 million jobs. Ok, I guess I can try to blame all this on Bush, but I'm not sure if even die hard Obama supporters are stupid enough to keep buying that. It might be best if we just forget about the president's record; just pretend it never happened. We'll just attack Romney. Let's talk about what an asshole he is for being a successful businessman and getting rich, now we're on a roll. Damn, does anyone know if McDonald's is hiring? It turns out, they're not because the First Lady is trying to run them out of business. This is a tough family to work for. Obama's "you didn't build that" crap was a big help though. I'm not sure Zig Ziglar could sell this shit! Let's be honest, getting him re-elected all depends on the ratio of of really stupid morons that somehow manage to make it to the polls, in relation to the rest of us. The only people to vote for Obama this time around are either brainwashed or brain dead; or with the help of ACORN; just plain old dead. This like trying to sell condoms to a lesbian!

"You Didn't Build That"

Barack Obama is the gift that just keeps giving. In 2008, he scammed his way into the White House like a used car salesman; promising to be the most transparent, post racial administration ever. Now, figuring, I suppose, that not enough people will buy that same load of crap again, he has a new strategy. His ideology has always followed the Robin Hood approach of taking from the productive people and giving it to his friends. But, last week, he added a new twist. "As we steal from the successful people, why not just insult the shit out of them too?" In one of the most brain dead, yet comical moments in U.S. Presidential history, Obama uttered this nugget of wisdom, "If you have a business, you didn't build that. Someone else made that happen." Who did jackass, Santa Claus? Did Barbara Eden pop out of a bottle and do it? If she did, she probably thought "Damn, how long was I in that bottle? Tell me you're not really the damn president!" That's what I think every morning when I wake up. In fairness to the president, how the hell should he be expected to know how businesses are created? He's never run one, or worked for one. He was raised by Marxists. All his friends and associates, and advisers are communists. There is absolutely no reason to expect him to have any knowledge of how free market capitalism works; all he's ever heard is that it was evil, unfair, and racist. Obama's theory is that our rich "Uncle Government" built this great "system" of roads, bridges, schools, and green energy sources. Then, a few people took advantage of that system and used it to create these successful businesses and get rich. But, that money isn't really theirs because they haven't paid back Uncle Government; and that greedy bastard wants it all back with interest. This leads to a question. Where did Uncle Gov get all his money to begin with? Well, he got it from business owners and the people that work the jobs created by those businesses. For Example:

• Thomas Edison-He had about 3 months of formal schooling and was self-educated for the most part. He was hearing impaired, yet he invented the phonograph, the motion picture camera, and the first long lasting, practical light bulb. He built and installed the first power grids in New York City. Mr. Edison "You didn't build that."
• John Merrick-Was a black man, born into slavery and educated in reconstruction schools after the Civil War. He worked a variety of odd jobs, became a barber, and opened his own successful shop. In 1898, he founded the North Carolina Mutual Insurance company, which today is the oldest and largest African-American life insurance company in the U.S. Sorry John, "Someone else made that happen."
• Henry Ford-Raised on a farm, left home at 16 to work in a machine shop, then worked for Edison until leaving to start The Ford Motor Company. Lord Mr. Ford, "You didn't build that."
• Ray Croc-Lied about his age to join the service during WWI and became a Red Cross ambulance driver at 15. Worked as a musician, paper cup salesman, and radio DJ. Bought McDonald's on a handshake and made it the biggest restaurant chain in the world. "Who built that Ray? Not You!"
• Herman Cain-Raised on a Tennessee farm, in the segregated south. Worked as a barber, janitor, and Chauffeur, then worked his way through the ranks of Coca Cola and Pillsbury, before becoming CEO of Godfather's Pizza and ultimately buying it. Herman, "You're a Conservative Republican, so you sure as hell didn't build that."

There are millions of stories like these; of people who sacrificed and risked everything and often failed a couple of times before finding success. It didn't happen because government extorted money from them and paved a road.  It's embarrassing that we turned our country over to such a moron. It's insulting to the entrepreneurs of yesterday and today to suggest that government has been anything but a pain in the ass to them. Wanna know what you built Mr. President? "9% unemployment, $5 trillion in new debt, supplying guns to Mexican drug dealers, the worst racial division since the 1960's, and the worst national morale since Jimmy Carter's sorry ass left the White House." "You built all that shit Mr. President."" That, is the House that Barack built." Own it!

Obamacare: The Seinfeld Tax

Jerry Seinfeld made a ton of money off "nothing". In fact, the cash continues to flow to Seinfeld to this day, as possibly the funniest TV show in history lives on in reruns. But Seinfeld's goldmine is chump change compared to the eternal pile of cash that Barack Obama is about to start raking in from "nothing". The most transparent, most honest, most intelligent president we've ever had, has boldly gone where no president has gone before; and it looks like he got the idea from George Costanza. For those of you who may not be familiar (all 5 of you), George was Jerry's best friend on the show. NBC approaches Jerry about developing a new show and George has a brilliant idea; "We'll do a show about nothing. Everybody else is doing something, we'll do nothing!". 

Picture this: Obama, Nancy Pelosi, and Harry Reid in a closed door brainstorming session, trying to figure out how to pay for socialized medicine:


Obama: "How's this? We pass a new tax on nothing. Everybody else is taxing something, we'll tax nothing!"


Pelosi: "I don't get it, we have to tax something. How do you tax nothing?"


Obama: "Easy, let's say you're on the couch scratching your butt, that's a tax. You're all alone, sleeping in your bed, that's a tax. You're standing in the wilderness, with no possessions and no contact with civilization, that's a tax."


Reid: "How's that a tax? Why is anyone going to pay it?"


Obama: "Because we're the government, and we'll put 'em in prison if they don't."


Pelosi and Reid: "I think you may have something here."


It's been accepted since before our founding, that government has the authority to tax. The country has bills and we have to pay them. But, taxes have always been based on actions or activities, enabling individuals to opt out or limit the amount they pay. Trade and commerce have been taxed through tariffs and sales taxes, but the individual controls how much he buys or sells, or whether he participates at all. Labor is taxed through the income tax, but no one can force you to work; as is evidenced by the fact that almost half the population pays no income tax at all. Real estate and personal property are taxed, but you must buy or accept ownership of them. Even in the case of the death tax, someone has to commit the act of dying before it can be applied. The Obama/Seinfeld tax is different. For the first time in American history, individuals will be taxed for existing; for "nothing". You stay in your home, you bother no one, you interact with no one, you buy nothing, you sell nothing, you say nothing; "that's a tax!" Obama even further channeled George Costanza in selling this to the American people. George was a self confessed serial liar, saying things like "My entire life is a lie." and "Remember this, it's not a lie, if you believe it." Obama told the country repeatedly that Obamacare was not a tax. Being questioned by George Stephanopoulos, he said "I absolutely reject that notion." It's OK Mr. President; "It's not a lie if you believe it." Everyone forgot to let John Roberts in on the lie. Here's a warning to gays, lesbians, and all the other stuff that keeps getting lumped in with them. I know the president has been kissing your butts but, watch out for the "Homo Tax"; you could be taxed for "nothing" other that your sexual orientation. "Not that there's anything wrong with it."